Sabotage! Or, an open letter to the Star Tribune

Dear Star Tribune,

My really, really adorable son, Linus, did not advance to the semifinals of your Cutest Baby contest (view the winners from Linus's heat). Is it because his name smacks of St Paul due to the Charles Schulz-iness of it? And, you know, people are saying that either you or the St Paul Pioneer Press are going to have to go under, because there can only be one, a la Highlander? Or perhaps Linus's semi-mohawk was a little to "edgy" for your constituents.

In any case, please accept this as my letter of cancellation of our weekend subscription to your paper. We may not have won the $1,000 prize, but we can compensate by saving the $33 fee you charge us for every 13 weeks of service. BAM!

Sincerely,
Erin

P.S. Please don't REALLY accept this cancellation letter. I mean, the first paragraph is true, but we really do like having the weekend paper at a pretty affordable price. Thanks.

But you'll still rue the day you crossed me. RUE!

P.P.S. Thank you to all of you who voted for the little bear!